what are they thinking???

i continue to be amazed at people's thought process??!!

celebrating

i am grateful for god's grace and for people that have come along at the perfect time when i was in need to steer my life in a better direction. to quote my friend mary howell "but for the grace of god and a few key decisions i could easily be a heroin addict". that sounds far fetched but i have come to think it isn't.

i have been blessed beyond belief and i can look back at points and see where if i would have said yes instead of no things could look different. if i hadn't broken up with some of those boyfriends, things could look really different. if people hadn't helped me so much with my kids, things could look really different (from behind bars in a maximum security prison maybe). i just don't think often enough to celebrate my circumstances, in fact i often bitch way to much about them.

people scare me

this past week was full of "what are they thinking??". from our sitter believing the jacked up ex-boyfriend is "sorry" and "won't do it again" to the trainer at our office showing a donkey sex video in training because they didn't think it was "explicit"--it was a donkey having sex with a human!--to my sister's friend having a slumber party for her 13 y/o and letting them go out alone with a curfew of 12:30 am!? my curfew was midnight until i moved out of the house! then it was capped off last night with a woman on miami ink getting a grilled cheese with an image of the virgin mary tatooed on her breast. WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING?!

i am sorry, we are moving to "the village". it scares me how to be in the world but not of the world. i don't want to be one of those paranoid people but i just can't get my head around the fact that all these wacked out decisions can be made by my children's friends parents, co-workers at my office who i depend on, maybe my neighbors or more likely people most in need of the ministry we hope to have. i am exhausted and we've just begun.

what is grace?

i think theologically defined it is unmerited favor. that just sounds so lofty. i often heard it preached about as a kid as the thing that got you to heaven. i always associated it with some really nice gesture by god that would somehow benefit me later.

grace for eternal life is an important aspect of grace but it is much more real to me on a day in day out basis. i have come to rely on his grace moment to moment some days. i wonder how i will be able to face one more milk request, a deadline at work after 3 kids up in the night and the strength to be sweet to someone really annoying. i experience it anytime we are out at a restaurant with my children, the other people miraculously don't spit at us because of the noise, the waitress doesn't quit on the spot. it is the fact that i make it through these moments that i understand grace.

it is undeserved on my part but it is so much more than a ticket to heaven. it is the outpouring of love and once experienced, you wonder how you missed the gift for so long.

i also realized today as i had to let our sitter go that grace is granted me even in saying "i can do nothing more than pray for you". i will pray that she allows his grace to sustain her so she quits relying on all those other things that just leave you disappointed. if you pray, please pray for her and her daughters (Ryah, Destiny & Brooklyn).

emerging church

* recapturing art and love of the world around us --he made it therefore it is perfect and to be enjoyed
* generosity not calculated but extravagant
* lives that embody the good news
* participation in their larger community while offering their contribution as expressed through allegiance to Christ