i just wonder sometimes...

wondering is a weird thing. it takes a lot of time, sometimes is fun but really is probably a waste of time i know. but i do lay awake and wonder. why, when, where, what if, how...

celebrating

financial liberty. our house in texas is finally under contract. a good price, a clean contract and closing in less than 30 days. can't ask for much more. i am clear the lesson in all this has been to discern between want and need. we have lots of things confused. it will be nice to get a few wants but it has been great to learn to live much more conscientiously. i hope we keep that mindset.

can you say "griswalds"?

we are leaving for texas with the kids for the week of halloween. the drive will be a nightmare but getting to see family and friends will be worth it. we are so excited to meet baby jackson strange (or jackson waxon as the kids call him) and reconnect with our seminary small group. we have been doing "pajama church on the porch" for several months now so it will be nice to go worship again corporately and be in community with our core group. the kids are so excited to trick or treat with grandpa and grannna and play with ms ida and her kids.

what is helping vs enabling?

michael and i had this debate today about when you cease actively helping someone who isn't interested in helping themselves? jesus doesn't actually stick around with the lost and hurting; rather he meets their immediate need, tells the truth about their situation and usually the remedy and moves on. this was before the church was established and the church is given a mission that differed in some ways from jesus mission. so where does this leave us with people who continue to make choices that lead to destruction? i certainly think the church, and we as christians, are always called to forgive and welcome but i am not sure how far the help is to go. something to think about.

patria360

we are taking a mental break from church planting for now. we are going on vacation with our family.

jack be nimble, jack be quick

we have the nursery rhyme recital for kindergarten tomorrow. our little man is the wolf with the ever important line "i'll huff and i'll puff and i'll blow your house in". michael and both corrected him and said it was "blow your house down" but apparently that is not the north carolina version of the three little pigs. harrison was just so thankful that he didn't have to be a pig and where pink like another boy in his class. pray that i don't cry and embarrass him.

thought i could die

i had time to contemplate that i may never come home again. i was on a midnight flight from charlotte to asheville in a storm and the little plane bounced the entire way. the flight attendants never got up, bells and noises were going off the whole flight. because it was so late and the lights were off NO ONE said a word the whole time. i assume many were praying the entire way like i was. we landed and i tried to throw up.

i realized that much of what makes me uptight is just foolish. i really want to be just content. i am fortunate beyond belief. i just want to be content. it is such a heart condition- not about circumstances. i am praying for a softening of my heart. i just want to be content.

celebrating

dating- i have decided to date. you know that exciting feeling, that get dressed up and wear eyeshadow for a change look, the don't eat that extra cookie so i look hot in my jeans choice. i want that back for a while. i know it doesn't last and i am ok with that. i just need a dose.

i am only going to date my husband in case you were concerned- but i am going to date him. old and married is not working right now. he keeps asking me why i am acting so weird. i am really practicing visualizing what it was like when we were dating; being more spontaneous, kind, fun, talking (really talking), laughing, planning dates, dreaming together etc.. i have realized that dating with no money is more challenging. it was much easier to date in the caribbean with $1000 in our pockets - but we will make due.

it is hard work and i do know that is why most of us don't date forever, we get married so we can stop the charade. it is exhausting being kind and coming up with meaningful discussion. it hurts to suck in your stomach all the time. it is time consuming to research something great to do on a date night. actually being funny isn't hard for me but i do think it is important to start dating all over again every few years.

patria 360

we have several responses to our vision meeting. we even have our first heckler. someone wrote to michael to criticize our choice of words in the ad. welcome to ministry!

please be praying for that date and the people that will be coming.

nice mommy?

i overheard my older kids talking this morning (after they came in my room 162 times before 8 am) about if they wished they didn't have parents. tatiana asked harrison and he said no, he is glad he has parents. she went on to ask if he wished he had a "nice mommy". he didn't answer or he whispered so no one could hear the response.

what is a nice mommy when you are 5? is it a permissive mommy? is it a fun mommy (i question who can be fun with 162 sleep interruptions before 8 am?)? is it a rich mommy that can buy them fun and things? what is a nice mommy? let me know if you have any ideas or can remember back that far? i don't know if i am interested in being a 5 year olds definition of nice but i am interested in what it is.

i am working on being a good mommy. more patient, more fun, more playful, less volume and edge to my requests. i need lots of prayer in this area if you have extra time in your prayer life.

adventure girl--it's me!

i am actually becoming a card carrying member of the asheville moms adventure club. yep, me- adventure mom. i will be llama trekking in november and zip lining before you know it. who knew??


celebrating


girlfriends. my friend Kasie came to see me and just renewed my soul. my friend Jenny is who took me on the bike ride through the woods of virginia. my girlfriend Cara sent me pics of my texas connections-that brightened my day AND my sister said i inspire her--what sweet friends! after eating chocolate all weekend my friend Misty is meeting me at the gym tomorrow. i couldn't live without them!


virginia creeper



this is the name of the bike trail through the woods of virginia. what an amazing trip. it was perfect because it was not very long, not very strenuous, with girlfriends and the trees changing colors, waterfalls, wooden bridges etc.. just whisked you away from the real world. i was reminded that we really need to get away from the real world every now and then. have you thought about that? when was the last time you were truly away--a day with no cell service (i had 0 bars the whole day), no crackberry (palm treo in my case), no thoughts of diapers, sippy cups, finances, work, church, carpool, no traffic whizzing by, no grocery stores in sight--really just no real world. my biggest concern was how sore my butt would be the next day and i really wasn't too worried about that until the end. try escaping the real world soon. it is good for your brain!



patria360


the information meeting is officially set and we know we have at least 4 people coming. the ad will run for three weeks (Jana did an awesome job with it!). please be praying for that day. pray for michael as he prepares to share his heart. pray for people that God would bring that night. pray for the 4 people who have already committed.




texas



we are still spending a tremendous amount of money there for people who do not reside there. today was $1000 in bills related to our house there. please pray that we would be patient and that wherever that perfect person is for this house - they would come-soon! we are dying financially.


holidays


we already are talking about holiday plans. vacations days off work, where we will celebrate and the BIG checkmarks in every catalog that has toys. please do not rush into christmas. i am just as excited as the next girl about acknowledging the birth of Christ, all the fun decorations, honoring my kids and family with gifts etc... but we seem to be forgetting thanksgiving. i am going to rant between now and then on the lost holiday of thanksgiving so just get ready....

bloggers block

i haven't been able to write for a while. i don't know if it is apathy or the addiction i have to grey's anatomy. maybe its mcdreamyitis. i am HOOKED! we are catching up with seasons 1 & 2 so we get to double up a couple of episodes a night. these are my people in the absence of all you people. this is a sad commentary on my life but I LOVE THEM!

celebrating

seasons. it is really fall here. i have been reflecting on what is great about the seasons- they change. i guess it is what i look forward to in life as well. the idea that seasons each are good in their own way but they do pass and a new one is ushered in. i need that hope in my life and the reminder to celebrate this season because it too will pass. it is amazing what a run in 50 degree weather around the lake overlooking the mountains can do for your head!

kindergarten wiz

many of you have asked about my sad little 5 y/o. he is doing much better (still picks his friends by what they eat for lunch?-no cafeteria line friends!). he actually says his day was "good" when you pick him up although he did tell me today that after this his whole time in kindergarten is done that he wants to go to a different school. when i pressed him further with the onslaught of motherly questions he said "can we just not talk about this anymore right now". his teacher is either oblivious or he is perfectly fine when he is there because she has nothing but great things to say about him. he has progressed into a new reading group because he is doing so well and is into his second math workbook. has his dad's intellect. we may actually survive this!

adventure girl

i am off tomorrow with the asheville women's adventure club. pick yourself up off the floor, quit laughing and read on. we are doing an overnight to the virginia mountains for a bike trip. their idea of camping is a hotel and the bike ride is all downhill. it could be the bugger pickers club and i would be up for it if it means a night away in a hotel and a meal with a group of ladies! my sweet friends jenny (of the couple we begin meeting with this week) had it all paid for and everything. she is driving and i just show up. i have my chocolate, music (no radio disney), magazines and i am set!

patria360

we begin meeting with the ellis' this thursday in our home. we plan to study and pray together weekly and will then open this up to any others that are interested from our informational meeting.

things are moving forward for the information/vision meeting in early november. we have some interest by a broad cross-section of people - from our handyman to some recently relocated empty-nesters. we will advertise the meeting for 3 weeks and pray that whoever is supposed to be there will come (oh and we are offering free dinner as a little incentive). we will keep you posted and be asking some of you to pray specifically for things related to this.

michael met with someone passionate about postmodern worship/music. crazy that they actually interviewed in ponte vedra and we had met them when we were there. it didn't work out for them or us in pv and we both ended up in asheville. he actually leads worship at the church where our youngest go to pre-school. it is nice because that church is very traditional and while he enjoys his work there he has a heart for the same type of ministry we do and may be able to help us out on the side. we will keep talking as things progress.

postmodern

* looking not to be labeled
* traditional yet right now yet forward thinking
* democrat, republican, independent, libertarian and maybe even green