TAKE COVER

incoming fire!

celebrating

i am reaching this week. as i have searched for bright spots this week i keep thinking i should celebrate more our health. we are fortunate to all be physically healthy. this is something i know we take for granted and if one of us were sick all these other trials would seem so minor. it would break my heart (unlike just piss me off like all these other things) to see someone i love hurting. i have tried to remember this all week, we are healthy and that is something to celebrate!

it's only money, it's only money, it's only money

we got screwed out of over $20K this week and it is stinging. we didn't have it to spare. it has been such a good reminder of our "get what is in it for me" mindset in the world. a mortgage broker we were working with pulled the old bait and switch and when we showed up to sign some loan documents things weren't as they were presented to us so we didn't sign. as a result, we can not pay back an IRA loan in time and will take a HUGE tax penalty.

it is a great reminder why we so want to live differently. we can't change the rest of the world but we can certainly vow not to perpetuate the problem. living kind and honest is actually counter-cultural. now if i can just recognize that my bitterness certainly doesn't hurt the people who we were working with but just me then i will be really living counter-cultural. just give me a few days.

sitter no more

with much sadness we had to let our sitter go. she was just at a point where she could not focus on caring for our kids with all the drama in her life. she really needed to focus on getting a place to live, her girls and getting the hell away from freak boy. he was calling my house all jacked up at all hours of the day and night and telling me incoherent lies to try to get to her. we had to let her move on and just resort to praying that she would make wiser choices going forward. she is a living example of how a few poor choices can set you on a life course that takes years to recover from. they are living at a women's shelter now. i think i am going to have them over for dinner this week (assuming she is not seeing him anymore). the kids really enjoyed playing with her girls and i am sure she could use a good meal.


getting out there

we continue to meet people and share the vision of an authentic community of people just looking to live the good news and it is well received. we are having an ice cream party so our neighbors can come get "the scoop" on us. you know everyone always talks when someone new moves in "i heard they have __ kids, i wonder where they are from? i think he's a ____ and she _____" so we thought we would just invite them all over and let them know.

emerging church

* from something to hopefully something more
* so not about religion rather about relationship
* not about a place but about people (this one is so hard to explain, everyone wants to know about your location and building??)
* sometimes too loose on the truth of the bible-(we need to be a part of changing that)

what are they thinking???

i continue to be amazed at people's thought process??!!

celebrating

i am grateful for god's grace and for people that have come along at the perfect time when i was in need to steer my life in a better direction. to quote my friend mary howell "but for the grace of god and a few key decisions i could easily be a heroin addict". that sounds far fetched but i have come to think it isn't.

i have been blessed beyond belief and i can look back at points and see where if i would have said yes instead of no things could look different. if i hadn't broken up with some of those boyfriends, things could look really different. if people hadn't helped me so much with my kids, things could look really different (from behind bars in a maximum security prison maybe). i just don't think often enough to celebrate my circumstances, in fact i often bitch way to much about them.

people scare me

this past week was full of "what are they thinking??". from our sitter believing the jacked up ex-boyfriend is "sorry" and "won't do it again" to the trainer at our office showing a donkey sex video in training because they didn't think it was "explicit"--it was a donkey having sex with a human!--to my sister's friend having a slumber party for her 13 y/o and letting them go out alone with a curfew of 12:30 am!? my curfew was midnight until i moved out of the house! then it was capped off last night with a woman on miami ink getting a grilled cheese with an image of the virgin mary tatooed on her breast. WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING?!

i am sorry, we are moving to "the village". it scares me how to be in the world but not of the world. i don't want to be one of those paranoid people but i just can't get my head around the fact that all these wacked out decisions can be made by my children's friends parents, co-workers at my office who i depend on, maybe my neighbors or more likely people most in need of the ministry we hope to have. i am exhausted and we've just begun.

what is grace?

i think theologically defined it is unmerited favor. that just sounds so lofty. i often heard it preached about as a kid as the thing that got you to heaven. i always associated it with some really nice gesture by god that would somehow benefit me later.

grace for eternal life is an important aspect of grace but it is much more real to me on a day in day out basis. i have come to rely on his grace moment to moment some days. i wonder how i will be able to face one more milk request, a deadline at work after 3 kids up in the night and the strength to be sweet to someone really annoying. i experience it anytime we are out at a restaurant with my children, the other people miraculously don't spit at us because of the noise, the waitress doesn't quit on the spot. it is the fact that i make it through these moments that i understand grace.

it is undeserved on my part but it is so much more than a ticket to heaven. it is the outpouring of love and once experienced, you wonder how you missed the gift for so long.

i also realized today as i had to let our sitter go that grace is granted me even in saying "i can do nothing more than pray for you". i will pray that she allows his grace to sustain her so she quits relying on all those other things that just leave you disappointed. if you pray, please pray for her and her daughters (Ryah, Destiny & Brooklyn).

emerging church

* recapturing art and love of the world around us --he made it therefore it is perfect and to be enjoyed
* generosity not calculated but extravagant
* lives that embody the good news
* participation in their larger community while offering their contribution as expressed through allegiance to Christ

and so it begins

this is the life we have chosen...it doesn' t look like i thought-- but isn't that the point--it's not about me...

celebrating

the cool breeze--the ac is off in asheville! we are a windows open only house and it is only sept! i haven't experienced this..it is so weird. it is a cool 66 as i blog. i have a light jacket and a great view of the mountains. i like the small feeling of living in the mountains. somehow it makes me not take myself so seriously. i must say being a little heavy these days anything that makes me feel small is PERFECT!

kindergarten hell

it seems the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach is worse the beginning of the week. he actually uttered the words "i like kindergarten" although he later said that isn't what he meant to say. we all know that feeling of wishing you could reel 'em back in sometimes. he didn't get out the rest of the sentence before we pounced on the "you LIKE kindergarten?" "we all heard it, harrison LIKES kindergarten", "call the grandparents, newspaper and all our friends, harrison LIKES kindergarten". he swears he just meant to say he likes going to the library at kindergarten, but he hates the rest of kindergarten. we explained you just can't take things as big as "LIKE kindergarten" back, sorry.

ministry begins

we have our babysitter and her two kids staying with us. we recognized the ministry opportunity just by giving her the work. 24 y/o single mother of two with only a part-time job at Brennan and Sasha's pre-school. we knew it might be messy but we are called to be different and not walk away because engaging might be "inconvenient". we saw the opportunity to provide her additional income in exchange for helping us with the little kids (they know her from the pre-school)as a win win. she is dependable and very loving with the kids.

after her second day with us her house was trashed by an ex, i took her to try to get her stuff back, he is all jacked up on something and he threatened her so they are with us for a few days (he doesn't know us or where we live). when all the kids are home we have a 1,2,3 two 5s and a 6 y/o. it is short term but i know god will use this to remind me that for all my complaining about 4 kids--i could have 6 to raise!

pray for her, for us and all the kids involved. this is not what we thought our ministry would look like but god didn't ask abraham what he wanted to do or moses or elijah- he just said serve. that is where we are, what we have chosen and what we will try to do.

we ran away (fast) from a suburban, upper middle-class ministry. we were clear we were called to something different. i am not convinced these needs aren't present in the burbs either, people are just better at hiding them.

i am volunteering in harrison's school and again- i had my mental picture--i would be reading stories in character, watching my son beam at his crazy mommy making the whole class laugh. i arrive on tuesday mornings and take a little boy out of class to the library to go over his alphabet and practice writing his name over and over and over again each week. when we return to the class the teacher thanks me as says she will see me next tuesday. it is not about what i want to do--just serve.

i keep thinking that we are told we can't be trusted with much until we master the little. i can't help but think all these are my little things to master before we can be entrusted to care for a larger flock.

festival-carnival-fair

there is something every weekend here. first the apple festival (350,000 in one weekend) then the lexington avenue arts festival (tatiana loved the hoola hooper my age with two going at all times) and this week is the western north carolina state fair. all you funnel cake fans would be in heaven! we are enjoying all the variety of things to do both with and without the kids. come one come all- there is always something!

patria 360

michael is at his first church planters coaching session in south carolina today. he will be with 12 other planters and some experienced coaches once per month. it will be a chance to review the ideas/plans he has with the group.

we are planning an informational meeting that we will advertise in the local weekly rag (like the dallas observer, the folio in jax, city paper in dc) for sometime probably in october. this will be a chance to share the unique ways michael sees god at work in asheville, the target group we have been given to reach out to and to invite people to join us and our new couple in weekly study and prayer. we are praying for those people who are looking for a way to partner with god for something a little different from "church" as most know it. we need workers to help us and in order to understand the vision they will need to know jesus and seek to live his counter-cultural life. pray for those that may be unaware of what god has for them.

we are excited that helena continues to pursue ways to join us in asheville. pray for wisdom and discernment for her and opportunities to open up for her interior design work here.